The Name Grace

   As I said before, the process of where to adopt was a longer part of the process than I had imagined. We explored all of the South and Central American countries but we could not get a peace about any of them for different reasons. I was beginning to feel a sense of discontentment and disobedience in this time of waiting. I was ready to charge ahead but God had a plan that required us to wait. I attended a ladies conference at our church. It was a simulcast of Priscilla Shirer. I had done one of her studies before and was excited to get to hear her, but I never expected to hear so clearly from the Lord. She began the conference with a time of prayer - asking the Lord to truly come and speak to us. During the quiet moments, I begged God to give us clarity in our adoption. (God is so good and faithful!) Before she began on her topic of Life Interrupted based on the life if Jonah, she highlighted a ministry where women in Uganda are given aid by plastic surgeons as they have been mutilated by soldiers in their country. In their present physical state, they would be outcast in society. With the help of doctors, these women are given their life and dignity back. I was amazed at this beautiful ministry, but I was also shocked at how hard it was to look at these women who had been so wounded. As I looked at the images, the words of my favorite song came to my mind...  "Who you love, I'll love." I believe that God loves these women and so I was ashamed with my initial reaction of how difficult it was to look at them with their wounds. I asked God to give me such a great love like he has for all he Has created. God had already spoken to me and taught me so much and Priscilla hadn't even started teaching. Amazing!
   Then, Priscilla began her teaching time and she asked us to open to Jonah 2:8 which says, "Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs." She read that verse and my heart stopped. The Lord confronted me with His truth in a personal way and I knew he was speaking to me. The worthless idol in my life was not something I had ever really thought about before. I just always assumed I would have a perfectly normal, healthy family. But it was not just that thought, it was the fact that God said the result of holding on to worthless idols would be to forfeit grace. Grace was the name God had given me a long time ago for an adopted little girl. It was then that God showed me that I would miss out on the "Grace" He had planned for our family if I was not open to adopting a child with some form of special need. While I was not sure what that looked like, I knew I wanted to be obedient.  I gave God my "yes" right then. Jonah 2:9 says, "But I, with a song of Thanksgiving, will sacrifice to you. What I have vowed I will make good. Salvation comes from the Lord." I knew that I wanted this to be my response. The rest of the time confirmed this word to me and was an amazing time of worship!
   I remember driving home that night and thinking how in the world I was going to explain this all to David. David asked me how the night was as soon as I got home and I just spilled everything the Lord had told me. He was so amazing! He was not shocked, but was actually very supportive. He believed that if God told me this, then he would be praying about it too. I really thought this would be a bigger discussion but I believe David really trusted the Lord in this situation.
   I'm so thankful to have a God that is so intimately involved in our lives. I pray you sense His nearness and direction in your life!